The Last Guardian: Epilogue
by moonshroom420
Summary: Artemis couldn't move to embrace his family and suffered a whole minute without air until they let him go. Angeline held his shoulders and looked at his face, tears streaking down her cheeks. "You're alive… Oh Arty!" I was disappointed with how The Last Guardian ended, without and epilogue, so I wrote my own. CONTAINS HOLLY/ARTEMIS! T to be safe
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so I just finished The Last Guardian and I have to say I'm extremely annoyed that there is no epilogue. I mean, that's just cruel. So, I decided to write my own. It's just going to be a single-chapter thing, because epilogues don't go for ages, so review please and enjoy!**

**The Last Guardian: Epilogue**

Much like his recall of the mind-wipe, as soon as Holly Short had explained their first adventure, Artemis remembered everything. So, as you can imagine, he gave Foaly a rather hard time about allowing him to ride on the centaur's back.

"I swear Mud Boy, if you're not so incapacitated, you can walk. And I'll kick you off my back."

Artemis steadied his hands on Foaly's shoulders.

"There is no need for that, Mister Foaly. I am simply voicing my opinion on a centaur allowing a human to mount him."

Foaly huffed and would have trotted faster, purely to spook Artemis, if the giant bodyguard Butler hadn't been there. Also, Holly would skin him alive.

"Are you sure you're okay, Arty?"

She asked, flying above them and looking down on the Irish boy. He turned his face up to the LEP officer, squinting in the new-day light.

"Everything is functioning properly, Captain Short. Though I do miss the comfort of a fairy eye."

He touched the skin below his two blue, human eyes and his brow softened. Then it creased again.

"And I must say I am not looking forward to the reunion with my parents. What should I do?"

He asked, a trace of worry noticeable in his voice. Butler spoke then.

"Artemis, you might have to tell them the truth."

Artemis flinched.

"That would take days, Butler. As it is, I doubt the Lower Elements will appreciate being exposed to the Fowl's."

Foaly nickered, turning everyone's attention to him.

"Actually, Artemis, they already know."

Butler's eyes creased in confusion, but he allowed the centaur to continue.

"Your mother, Mud Boy, obviously is aware of us fairies already. Juliet too. Myles and Beckett may as well write our biography thanks to those Berserkers and your father…"

He stopped, thinking.

"Your father was longest left out of the loop, but when majority of the Lower Elements turned up for your funeral… I think he got the jist."

Artemis was, for the third time in his life, lost for words. The fairy race turned up for his funeral? Holly fluttered down and went to punch his shoulder.

"You saved our butts, Fowl. Least they could do, especially since Haven was being rebuilt and they needed an evacuation anyway."

Artemis suddenly listed to the left, avoiding the friendly touch. Foaly almost toppled over and Holly spun out of control, barely managing to stop herself from pitching into the ground. Butler caught the elf before she could get tangled up in her wings.

"Sorry, Holly. But you can't touch me."

"Why not?"

The LEP captain asked indignantly, swatting dust off her jumpsuit. Artemis faced the front, watching Fowl Manor draw closer.

"It's just not the time."

He muttered, almost to himself. Holly crossed her arms and flew ahead.

"Fine."

She said, hurt slightly. Artemis sighed quietly behind her.

* * *

Foaly trotted to the doorstep and Butler scanned them all in. Holly glared warily at the security lasers before following her friends into the foyer. Myles and Beckett were running around the centaur, screaming in Gnommish and flicking Foaly's legs in demand he put their brother down. Artemis suddenly smiled weakly as his parents appeared at the top of the grand stairs. Angeline Fowl's hands went to her heart as she observed her deceased son, wearing a hospital gown and riding a centaur. Artemis Fowl the First actually leaned over the banister and blinked several times to make sure what he was seeing was real. He pinched himself, then he and his wife hurled themselves down the stairs and dragged their son off Foaly, enveloping him in a tight hug. Artemis couldn't move to embrace his family and suffered a whole minute without air until they let him go. Angeline held his shoulders and looked at his face, tears streaking down her cheeks.

"You're alive… Oh Arty!"

And she flung herself around him again, weeping. Artemis Senior held his son close as his wife wrapped herself around the boy's waist, sobbing hysterically. He pressed his lips to Artemis's raven hair and mumbled, little beads of liquid pooling under his eyes. Butler coughed awkwardly, but no one paid him any attention. Angeline and Artemis the First were too wrapped up in their eldest sons return to the physical world to care about anyone else. That was until Myles and Beckett wormed into the family hug and started rapidly rattling off anything and everything that they had done while Artemis had been dead. Myles stole Angeline and looped his chubby arms around his mother as his told his older brother that he had procured a set of Foaly's Hummingbird Z7's and was three-quarters of the way into dismantling them.

"Then, I will reassemble them and make copies." He explained in fluent Gnommish. "The world will bow down to Myles Fowl, creator of the Hummingbird Human Wing-Set 8. Or, for short, The HHWS8."

The little boy faced Foaly, gripping his mother still.

"See, pony-man? Eight. One more than seven. That means that my wings will be better than yours."

And, in all maturity and forever to Holly's amusement, he stuck out his tongue at the centaur. Foaly laughed and then pointed to the wings on Captain Short's back.

"See that, mini-Artemis? That's the Hummingbird Y12: best wings under, _and above, _the world. So," He patted the four-year-olds head. "Keep trying."

Myles scowled, disentangling himself from Angeline, and totted up the stairs, back to his lab.

"I will beat you, Foaly the centaur. I will invent something you have never dreamed of!"

And he raced back along the hallway, towards the bathroom. Artemis chuckled, then faced his father while his mother got off the rug and hugged his shoulders.

"Father, how are you handling all this?"

He gestured to Foaly, Holly, and the reaming Fowl twin spouting the fairy tongue as casually as blinking. The man sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Honestly Arty, I feel as if I am going insane."

Angeline looked at him reproachfully.

"But," Artemis Senior amened, "It is all so fascinating. To know there are beings of intelligence living underneath our very feet!"

"_High _intelligence."

Foaly added loudly.

"Yes, _high _intelligence." The former European crime-lord said, looking almost fondly at the centaur. "I still find it hard to wrap my head around, and when Mister Foaly said that you left him a plan to resurrect you… I did not know what to think. I still don't. But…" he looked at his son. "You are here, and I am so happy."

Artemis felt a lump in his throat and he uncharacteristically buried his face into his father's shirt. A shirt, he noticed, that was not a designer silk suit article imported from France, but an almost-casual short-sleeved, plain t-shirt.

Just then, Juliet entered from the kitchen, holding a tray of sandwiches. Then the saw Artemis, and the tray clattered to the floor, strewing cucumber and bread everywhere. The ex-wrestler covered her mouth with her hands and then sprinted over to the boy, wrapping him in a bone-crushing hug.

"Artemis!"

She shrieked, her jade hair-ring swinging from the impact. Artemis couldn't breathe again.

"Hello, Juliet."

He managed, sounding strangled. The pretty woman released him and was about to say something when an un-Godly sight waddled out of the kitchen.

"Cucumber!"

It shouted, and dove for a little stack of the green vegetable. The thing unhinged its jaw and pounced on the pile, swallowing every little piece in one gulp. Then it straightened up, and saw Artemis. A leather flap suddenly swung down between its legs as it stared at the Fowl heir. Then it was launched into the air on a little cloud of greenish-yellow methane and tackled the boy.

"Artemis!"

It shouted in his ear, spraying cucumber bits all over the floor.

"Mulch."

Artemis replied, surprisingly happy to see the kleptomaniac dwarf. He pried the little creature off him and stood up again, quickly averting his eyes as he noticed Mulch's bum-flap open.

"Diggums." Bulter said, pointing. "Your pants."

The dwarf shrugged, and bent over to give the manservant a better view of his behind. Holly stifled a giggle while Juliet rolled her eyes. But then Artemis noticed the little sparkly thing on her finger.

"Juliet… don't tell me…"

He pointed to the ring. Juliet's face went red and he smiled his vampire smile.

"Who's the man Butler needs to speak too?"

He asked, trying to sound teasing.

"I, err, already talked to him, Artemis." Butler said slowly. "And he nearly blew my head off. Again."

The colour drained from Artemis's face as Mulch jumped into Juliet's arms.

"Yep, Mud Boy!" He crowed. "You'll be seeing a lot more of me!"

Artemis groaned.

"Let me guess. You robbed the most expensive jewellery store in the world."

He said. Mulch gave him a delighted smile.

"No way, Artemis. For my-lady, I went a step further." He showed Artemis Juliet's ring. "Stole it from the Crown Jewels Cabinet in London Tower. That's part of the Queen of England's sceptre, that is."

Holly looked aghast while Foaly gave the dwarf a subtle wink. Butler simply raised an eyebrow as Angeline admired the ring. Artemis Senior patted Mulch's hairy head.

"What are we going to do with you, Mister Diggums?"

He sighed, smiling. Mulch smiled back, teeth full of cucumber and bread.

"Love me!"

He proclaimed, before running back to the kitchen. The sound of the fridge door coming off its hinges echoed into the foyer and Juliet gave everyone an apologetic smile.

* * *

Dinner that night was the happiest meal the Fowl household had ever seen. Everyone was seated around the table and eating the delicious meal prepared by Butler and Juliet. Mulch claimed to have helped, but the manservant had assured Artemis that the only thing Mulch helped was himself. Hence no roast turkey.

But the dinner was excellent without the turkey. Angeline and Artemis the First sat next to each other, with Juliet and Mulch beside them. Holly sat at the head of one end while Foaly, Myles, Beckett and Butler were placed on the second length of the table. Artemis himself was allowed to be at the head. He looked around at all the people he loved. All his friends and family. And he felt happy. Truly happy.

* * *

Holly sat on the window-seat in the drawing room, staring out into the darkened garden. Little fireflies danced around in the grass while crickets hummed their song. She imagined Angeline Fowl upstairs on her balcony, listening to the crickets. The door behind her opened suddenly, then closed. Holly squinted into the darkness to see who it was, before Artemis appeared on the cushion next to her. He looked at Holly, his two blue eyes round and sparking with something.

"I thought I might find you here."

He said softly, making sure his voice didn't carry into the hallway through the closed door. Holly turned back to the fireflies.

"It's definitely my favourite place in the Manor."

She admitted. Artemis looked out the window too, staring transfixed by the bobbing lights. Holly drew a breath.

"Artemis." She began, gaining his attention. "Why wouldn't you let me touch you earlier?"

The Fowl heir hadn't even let the elf hug him, but he had allowed everyone else too, and that hurt the LEP officer.

Artemis faced her fully.

"I have been thinking, Holly. I miss having the connection I used to have with you." He gestured to his left eye. "You still have my blue eye, yet I am lacking your hazel one. But, I have found a way to restore it."

Holly felt slightly nervous.

"What is it?"

She asked slowly. Artemis suddenly moved closer and laid his hand on the side of her neck.

"What are you doing?"

Holly asked again, curious despite herself.

"What I am doing, Holly Short, is what I do best."

He whispered.

"_Stealing._"

Then, Artemis Fowl the Second kissed her.

Holly was shocked, and her eyes were wide for a second before she too closed them and kissed him back. A tingle ran from her forehead, then to her left eye. Artemis's eye. It passed down to her lips, then was gone.

Artemis felt a tingle come from Holly's mouth and he continued to kiss her, allowing the prickle to crawl towards his left eye. A blinding light filled his left-side vision for a moment, before it was gone, and a solitary blue spark roamed across his vision and fixed the size of the eyeball. He leaned away from the elf, both of them opening their eyes are the same time. Holly was blushing furiously, covering her cheeks with both hands. Artemis too felt immense heat covering his face, but he had to check if his theory was correct. The Fowl heir turned on the drawing room light and looked at himself in the mirror. His left eye was hazel. He had Holly's eye back. It felt right. He turned to the female elf, who was still sitting on the window-seat, and smiled.

"It worked."

He said triumphantly, crossing to sit beside her again. Holly didn't look at him.

"What worked?"

She asked quietly, still avoiding his gaze. Artemis scanned her face.

"Are you okay, Holly?"

He questioned, sensing his friend was thinking hard. Holly nodded.

"What did you manage this time, Arty?"

She asked again, sounding more like herself and facing him. Artemis mentally noted to talk to her about it later, and proceeded with his explanation.

"Well, you see, since Foaly created my clone from saliva left on your forehead, it made sense that some of your DNA would become part of my build. I thought I would have my elf-eye back. But, Foaly seemed to have done his job too well, so I was created with two blue, human eyes."

Holly continued staring, listening intently.

"I estimated that there would be some sort of reaction if we touched, because Foaly obviously took such care to make sure I would been 100% Artemis Fowl and purge any of your cells from my make-up. But I wanted our special connection, and since the only Holly Short part of me was your eye, the magic residue inside my brain from my creation allowed my eye to change back to yours."

Artemis smiled happily, and touched his friend's hand. Another blue spark meandered from his palm into Holly's and she smiled back.

"You relied on magic and science, you smart Mud Boy."

She said, grinning. Artemis nodded modestly. Then Holly caught him.

"And the way to restore the eye was to kiss me, hummm?"

She asked cheekily. Artemis blushed, and didn't answer.

"It could have been a simple punch in the arm but no. The great Artemis Fowl does like to keep us fairies on our toes."

She teased, holding the boys hand still. Artemis mumbled something inaudible.

"Sorry, what was that?"

Holly asked, cupping her ear and smirking. Artemis looked up.

"I wanted to thank you as well, for all your help over the years."

He said, still red in the face. Holly's smile softened.

"I have got to thank you also."

She said. Holly threw her arms around Artemis and they fell onto the cushions of the window-seat. Holly allowed blue sparks to roam into Artemis's head and she concentrated on everything she loved about the Mud Boy. The sizzles of magic danced into his skull and scampered around, creating a space for magic in his brain. Holly rolled off Artemis, lying next to him, and she watched as he drew up his finger and shot a little red lightning spark out the end.

"A magic Artemis Fowl." He mused, smirking. "The things that are possible."

**There! Even some Holly/Artemis in there, because they are destined to be together. And some Mulch/Juliet, because I just like that for some reason. I had fun writing this, even though it was short. Oh well. Thank you, Eion Colfer, for writing such an excellent series! Please review!**

**Jasmine Out!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I know I said it would be a one-shot, but I couldn't help myself. Plus, pretty much everyone who reviewed was, in a nutshell, saying 'WRITE MORE' so I have done so. Hope you like and I don't really know if I'm doing anymore for this but we'll see ;) depends how many reviews I get. Enjoy!**

Holly's first thought after Artemis's proclamation was 'Oh Frond, what have I done?' but it changed when the Fowl heir gave her a simple look, like he knew what she was thinking.

"Holly Short, you of all people should know I would not misuse these given powers."

Holly blushed, ashamed. She thanked her lucky stars it was too dark for Artemis to see the red of her cheeks.

"However…"

He turned to her.

"Would it count as misuse if I applied them to the art of relieving crime lords or violent gangs and businesses of their gold?"

Holly quirked an eyebrow sceptically.

"Depends where the gold would go, Artemis."

She said slowly. Artemis nodded.

"Of course, it would go towards Green Planet programs, possibly some to the LEP, but, after all the work it would take to claim it, a sample shall go to the Fowl bank accounts."

Holly sighed with good-natured patience.

"I suppose, Arty."

She replied, smiling slightly at how the boy's face lit up slightly. He was definitely not the same Artemis Fowl from their first meeting. Far from it. Artemis suddenly hugged her tightly.

"I forgot to tell you, Captain Short, how utterly meaningless my existence would be if you were not in it. I don't think I could do without you."

Holly felt tears prick her eyes, but they were happy tears, and she hugged her favourite Mud Man back firmly, standing on tip-toes to wrap her arms around his waist. Artemis needed to stop growing.

Just then the drawing room door burst open and Butler dashed in. The giant body-guard stopped mid-stride as soon as he saw Artemis and Holly embracing. He tried to hide his smile.

"Artemis, there's someone here to see you."

He said quickly. Artemis and Holly faced his, still wrapped in each other's arms, and let go very slowly, almost regretfully. Butler looked back-and-forth between them.

"Is there something I should know about?"

He asked, somewhat brazenly. Artemis rolled his eyes, but his cheeks were coloured.

"No, Butler, there isn't."

He replied, feeling Holly's eyes on him. The Fowl heir decided to change the subject.

"So, who is here to see me?"

He asked the manservant. Butler grinned lightly.

"Oh, uh, you had better come and see for yourself."

Artemis jerked his head towards the doorway and Holly followed him out, Butler trailing after them. Artemis stopped on the top of the flight of stairs, peering into the foyer. He turned to Holly then, wide eyed.

"Wasn't he supposed to be on a space mission?"

He questioned softly. Just then the little creature standing at the bottom of the stairs spotted the three people and hurled himself up towards them.

"Artemis! Holly! Butler! My friends!"

As the stubby, grey being reached them, he threw his plated arms around the female elf Captain and hugger her tightly. Holly hugged him back and patted the little demons head.

"Number 1!"

She exclaimed, and the warlock looked like he was about to cry. No. 1 pulled Artemis into the group hug, then looked at the Mud Boy and stepped away from Holly.

"I got a message you were dead!" He squeaked. "Dead, deceased, gone, kicked the bucket."

Artemis chuckled.

"I was dead for a while, Number 1. But I'm better now."

He shot Butler a sideways glance, repeating what he had said when Arno Blunt shot the bodyguard. Butler smirking slightly. No.1's eyes widened.

"How can you get better from dying? Did Foaly find a cure? That clever centaur."

Holly rolled her eyes at Artemis.

"Nah, Number 1. Foaly only acted upon Artemis's instructions. This Mud Boy saved his own life."

No.1 looked impressed.

"Well, I take back what I said about Foaly. He may be clever, but his head will hardly stay on his neck if he hears that. He would get incredibly big headed, vain, egotistical."

Suddenly Myles appeared from out of the bathroom, where he had been doing God-knows what for the last few hours since dinner. The little boy observed No.1 with interest.

"If I am not mistaken – which I rarely am – then you, stubby little demon-man, and I will be rather inseparable friends. We have mentally bonded over our common views of that centaur's egotistically driven work."

Myles waddled out of the bathroom fully, presenting the little reunion party with a full view of his multi-coloured lab coat, silicon-dust covered hair and handful of wires in each hand. He stuffed the red, blue and yellow stems into his pockets and tried to walk forward gracefully, only to stumble on his premature feet. He finally reached No.1, who had done nothing but stare at the little Fowl boy. Myles held out his hand.

"My name is Myles Fowl."

No.1 took the Mud Boy's hand and shook it.

"I'm Number 1."

The demon-warlock said. Myles made a confused face.

"Is that your actual name or are you as narcissistic as the centaur?"

No. 1 couldn't hold back a laugh.

"No, my name is really Number 1. I just came back from a space mission. Our entire system crashed while we were checking for life on Venus. I heard something about Opal Koboi again, that the crash was her fault, but my mentor and I got everyone back safely."

Myles couldn't hold back an impressed smile. He put his little hand on No. 1's plated back and started leading him towards the toilet room.

"We have much to discuss, Mr No. 1. Let us continue our conversation in my laboratory."

No. 1 gave Artemis a look saying 'Your brother, no doubt' and then disappeared into the bathroom with Myles. The door shut and locked behind them. Butler's face was cherry-red from holding back laughter, which was most unprofessional, but he couldn't help it. The image of Myles and No. 1 crammed into the bathroom and talking science would make anyone laugh. Artemis turned towards his bodyguard and opened his mouth to say something, when Holly collapsed on the ground in a fit of giggles. Butler chocked out a laugh, then tried to pass it off as a cough.

"So, that was a brief reunion."

Artemis observed, heading towards the bathroom door to retrieve No. 1. Butler followed and Holly dragger herself along the ground, laughing.

"Wa'so funny, Holly?"

Came a little voice behind them. Artemis turned to see Beckett, his other brother, standing at the top of the stairs and staring at Holly. Butler concentrated on picking the lock to the toilet, trying not to laugh.

"Well, Beckett, another friend of mine arrived to see me and Myles became rather fascinated in him so they seem to have, er, _retired _to the bathroom for a talk."

Artemis explained, once again horrified with himself for saying _er. _It's not even a word! Beckett pulled a face.

"Oh, dat poor fairy. I been to Myles's _laboratory _in da baffroom. Da ride through da shower is _so _not like a roller-coaster."

Everyone stared at the little four-year-old.

"Sorry, Beckett, did you say _ride through the shower?"_

Holly asked, regaining her breath. Beckett nodded.

"Yea, pretty fairy lady. Myles made a whole entire _pressurised atom transport system _in da upstairs baffroom. He stole it from big-brudder Artemis."

Beckett pointed at Artemis to make his point more. The colour drained from the Fowl heirs face. Beckett picked it up, and immediately put the wrong two's together to get a rather hilarious four.

"Yeah, Artemis. You talk in your sleep now. Dat's how I know dat you call Holly 'pretty fairy lady'. Although, you follow it up with a lot of other big words I don't know. Like, _bivouac. _What is dat?"

Artemis's face immediately flushed with colour again, and he pressed his cold hands to his cheeks to try and hide it from Holly's questioning stare. Holly's LEP visor snapped shut suddenly and she started typing rapidly on a v-board to Foaly.

**Holly: **_**Foaly, you still at Fowl Manor?**_

She waited a minute, all eyes on her, before a message popped up in her visor.

**Foaly:**_** Yeah Holly. Still here. Sitting with Artemis Senior and Angeline. What's up?**_

Holly drew a rapid breath and typed in one word.

**Holly: **_**Orion. **_

Foaly's reply was instant.

**Foaly: **_**WHAT!**_

**Holly: **_**He's still hanging around inside Artemis's head. Beckett just said Artemis talks in his sleep, and says things like 'pretty fairy lady' and 'bivouac'. And Artemis wouldn't be caught dead saying those things. **_

Foaly didn't reply after that. Holly flipped up her visor and stared back at the three other occupants of the hallway. She looked directly at Artemis, who'd got his blushing under control, and simply said one word.

"Orion."

Artemis rolled his eyes.

"Of course, that imbecilic fool. He's still occupying precious brain-space."

Butler and Beckett were totally out of the loop here, but both knew better than to ask. Butler, because it was unprofessional, and Beckett because he had once taped Artemis's sleep talking and now planned to use this 'Orion' reason to show Foaly the recording of Artemis's rant about the 'goodly beast'. It would be fun. And he needed to keep this secret weapon secret until he figured out how to use YouTube.

**There done! Some more random stuff that should have happened. The first one is my actual epilogue. This stuff is pretty much just junk about the life after my epilogue. Review and I might write some more. **

**Jasmine Out!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Yeah, hey, I'm back with some more Artemis Fowl - After TLG stuff! I really don't know if I'll continue it but again, depends on reviews. Here is a third instalment!**

Artemis frowned as he entered the bathroom after Butler had picked out the lock. The copper brass now sat, dismantled entirely, on the carpet outside the door. Holly stooped to pick it up on her way in.

"I could have opened this thing in a second with my Omnitool."

She grumbled. Artemis smirked slightly.

"I didn't hear you offer, Captain."

Holly scowled, but stayed silent. He had a point. Beckett followed Holly into the pristine white bathroom, trying to grapple her hand so he could hold onto it. In his other little-boy fist, he held a button-hole camera because Beckett Fowl wanted to film his big-brother's reaction when Artemis saw him holding hands with Holly Short.

Artemis scanned the bathroom, his gaze finally falling on the shower. He examined the _hot _and _cold _handles as he opened the glass door to enter. Artemis tapped his chin with a slim finger.

"If Myles installed a pressurised atom transport beam system in the shower, how would he activate it?"

Artemis reached out a hand and clasped the _cold _tap in his right hand. A wry smile worked its way onto his lips.

"Of course, the trademark Fowl description. _Cold._"

Artemis twisted the tap.

A jet of freezing water catapulted onto the Fowl heirs head, flattening his hair and soaking his dark blue formal shirt, black pants and loafers. Holly fell over in hysterics again and stared at Artemis while tears of mirth ran down her face. Artemis scowled, and looked back at the board of shower options.

_Lemon and Lime Soap. _

Myles hated lemon. He said it made his brain cells overactive. Whatever that meant.

_Bath Salt – tangerine. _

Artemis quickly left that button. That was Angeline's special one. He scanned over them all, dismissing each and every one. Myles was predictable to an extent, and none of these options would the young Fowl pick to conceal his secret lab.

Artemis closed his eyes and thought about everything shower-related Myles said that would clue him in to cracking his little brother's lock.

"_Mummy smells like a volcano full of pansies._"

Nope. Artemis wondered if Myles had been on a sugar-high when he said that.

"_Beckett said that the 'Rain' button in the shower would dump cold rain on my head._"

No.

"_I like sitting on the shower floor and building Opera House models out of the soap."_

Hmm… maybe.

Artemis jettisoned a handful of soap bubbles onto the white shower floor and started moulding them into the shape of his own Opera House design. Myles always like his architecture.

When Artemis had finished, he scanned the corners of the base of the shower for the micro-keyhole he knew Myles would have installed. Clever little Fowl, taking right after Artemis himself.

Artemis soon found the tiny speck and put his finger over it to keep track of it. He then looked outside the shower to the group standing in the bathroom.

"Butler, locate Mister Diggums if you can. Bring him here. I am in need of his dwarfs abilities."

Butler nodded, relieved he wouldn't have to go into the shower. Artemis gestured for Holly to come in. She did.

"Nice bubble castle."

She praised, standing in the corner. Artemis nodded modestly.

"I know my Opera House's design off-by-heart. It was easy really."

Just then, a bang sounded outside the door and Butler practically threw Mulch into the room. Mulch immediately spotted the human and the elf in the shower, Artemis's bubble creation and the fact that the Mud Boy was soaked to the skin. He burst out laughing, rolling around as Holly had done. Artemis scowled. There wasn't really time for giggling. Myles wouldn't hurt No.1, but the little demon would become very over-whelmed by the Fowl boy's questions. And everyone knew that when No.1 became overwhelmed, he had a difficult time controlling his magic. Myles could get hurt or become magical himself, and that would be very, very bad. He wouldn't use the powers for criminal evil, but manipulating the household into being his personal assistants isn't ideal.

Holly flung the shower door open and yanked Mulch in. The dwarf kept giggling.

"Artemis, you know three's a crowd."

He snorted, then rolled over and cackled at his joke. Both Holly and Artemis scowled, crimson creeping onto their cheeks.

"Mulch, we need your help."

"Again?"

Holly sighed.

"Just a beard hair, dwarf. Then you can go and do whatever smelly thing you were doing."

Mulch pouted, but complied and yanked out a beard hair. Artemis snatched it and quickly stuffed it in the micro-keyhole before it stiffened entirely. After a second, the hair became rigid in his hand and Artemis twisted it, opening the lock.

Or, instead of opening the lock, it opened a giant glob of green gel onto the three beings. The gel began packing them in smaller and smaller, while entire parts of their bodies disintegrated into the green.

_It's compressing us into atoms! I hope Myles knew what he was doing!_

Artemis thought as he was swallowed by the gel.

**There. I guess there will be more, because it would suck if there wasn't. Please review!**

**Jasmine Out!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay yeah I know. I would have updated sooner but I had school, friends, other stuff and other stories that I have a tad of a bigger commitment to than this one. Sorry. Here's part 4! And I don't know if there will be any more. Depends, again, on reviews**

Artemis didn't suspect that when one's atoms were dematerialised, then sucked down a pipe and landed in a stainless white room, that the experience would be quite pleasant. There was even elevator music, but it was the Mozart Children's CD that Angeline had bought Myles when he and Beckett turned three. Artemis had never bothered to tell his parents that Myles could play all the pieces off by heart now.

As soon as Artemis's arms rematerialized, he checked to make sure that all his body parts were present, functioning and accounted for. All of them were. The Fowl Heir spun around to check on his companions. Mulch was scooping the fast-dissolving goo and prodding it with his tongue, checking if it was edible. It obviously was, as the dwarf proceeded to swallow mouthfuls of it. Holly was shaking her head and hitting her temples as some of the green stuff flew out of her hair. She straightened up and looked around.

"Artemis, if you built that machine, thank you for building it right."

She said, staring around. Artemis rose to his feet, keeping himself from slipping in the goo.

"I did build it Captain, thank you. It is nice to finally be appreciated by you."

Holly snorted, and edged forward towards a white door - the only kind of break in the eternal Star-Trek silver of the room they were currently in. She pushed the handle down and jumped inside. Artemis followed, while Mulch pleaded for more of the 'yummy green jelly-stuff'. The human and the elf left the kleptomaniac dwarf to it, and looked around the room. Artemis's jaw dropped.

After riding through a pressurized atom transport beam system, ending up in a room like this seemed like an oxymoron.

The circular place was filled to the brim with robot monkeys, yapping and swinging around along the ceiling and walls, even though there were no grips. A large fluffy, red bean-bag stood in the corner, though it was obviously a commanding corner, and in it perched a little boy holding a remote and talking to a demon warlock.

"Myles… what on earth is this?"

Artemis asked, finally closing his mouth. The little Fowl boy turned to his elder sibling.

"This, big brother, is Professor Primate's numbers one-through-to-forty. I built them from the blueprints you gave me for building the original Professor Primate. Except these ones have a more advanced system."

Myles gestured to the group of monkey-bots hanging from the roof by nothing more than their upturned palms.

"For example, I added in a Spiderman-like power into that group so they can stick to walls if they see fit. I stole that from you, by the way." Artemis scowled at his little brother. "Beckett helped!" The little boy amended, catching Artemis's withering look. Myles continued hesitantly, keeping one eye on Holly's Neutrino.

"I found another bug in your lab that makes machines telepathic." He pointed to the remaining monkeys, who were sitting in a circle and merely staring at each other. Artemis blew his cheeks out and breathed deeply. Holly hid a smile.

"Myles, you and Beckett must stop raiding my labs. You two should learn to create your own bugs and whatnot. I may have to talk to Butler about enrolling Beckett in Madam Ko's school. Or teach him himself."

Artemis tapped his chin. Holly gave Myles a subtle thumbs up. Myles grinned at the elf, becoming bold again.

"Artemis, by the way, I have something you might like to see."

Artemis hid his excited thoughts of anti-gravity chambers, time travel, etc. He followed Myles over to an old television. Myles slipped a CD into the player and hit some buttons to brighten the screen. Artemis and Holly's faces filled with colour.

"_What I am doing, Holly Short, is what I do best." _

The TV said, showing a HD image or Artemis and Holly in the drawing room. Myles smiled evilly.

"_Stealing._"

The three occupants of the room didn't notice the fourth had slipped up to watch the CD with them. Only when the on-screen Artemis kissed the pixel Holly did anyone realize. Because No. 1 had fallen over laughing and making heart-shaped symbols with his hands, peering through them to get Holly and Artemis in the shot. The two were red as beetroots. Artemis ejected the CD and put it in his pocket, scowling. Myles joined the warlock on the floor rolling around and giggling like the little boy he was. Artemis closed his eyes.

"At least he is still immature enough to find that funny."

He said, rubbing his temples. Holly geared up her Neutrino, but Artemis laid a hand on the trigger, stopped her from firing a warning shot at No. 1 and Myles.

"Oh, let them have their fun." He whispered, which even Artemis thought was a bit unorthodox. "I think-"

He tilted Holly's chin up a bit so they were eye-to-eye. "That it would be interesting to make a mockery of this situation."

Holly's eyes twinkled with laughter and Artemis smirked as he and Holly inched closer to each other. The giggling on the floor ceased and a shocked gasp came from Myles and No. 1 as Holly wrapped her arms around Artemis and pushed her lips against his. Artemis was shocked too, for a second, but he quickly put his triumphant face on and kissed the elf back, lifting her off the ground and spinning around. Myles made a gagging noise and No. 1 clapped loudly.

* * *

Butler was waiting for them when the group of five came back up. Mulch had eaten all the atom dematerializer, and Myles had begged Artemis to make some more that he could steal. The Fowl Heir had sternly said no, and that the micro-keyhole was to be sealed up permanently. As the group walked along the corridor towards dinner, Butler dropped back with Artemis and Holly.

"So," The bodyguard started, looking between his charge and the elf, who seemed to be smiling at each other rather stupidly. "What happened down their?"

Artemis turned to Butler and gave the big man a lopsided smile that scarred Butler quite a lot.

"Oh, I am sure if Myles ever wanted to speak of it again he would show you the disk but," He shared a glance with Holly. "I do not think he will want to go through that for a second time."

**So, there you have it. More Artemis/Holly (Hartemis?). Possibly the last little part for this story, unless I get a lot of reviews saying otherwise or generally a lot of reviews. I maybe have a few more ideas, but I don't know **

**Jasmine Out!**


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